Is Fear Winning?

Practical ways to quiet fear, reduce overwhelm, and make decisions from alignment instead of anxiety.

Today I had one of those days where everything caught up with me. The fatigue hit hard and my brain shut down. I have been thinking all the time. As an entrepreneur you are thinking about clients, new business, contractors or employees, products, finances, content, visibility and strategic planning in an ongoing loop. As a parent I am up at night wondering if I am doing right by my kids: how much autonomy should they have, how do I set them up to launch, their diets, mental health, screen time. Then I think about all those around me are going through and how to support my mother, partner and friends in their transitions. And I began to wonder, was it always like this? Did we always have this many decision points? And what's the relationship between feeling the pressure of the decisions and plain old fear?

The Quiet Passenger That Became the Driver

Fear isn't the villain we often make it out to be. We act as if its shameful to be afraid, maybe we mask our fear or even engage in risky behaviour to overcompensate. But fear as an emotion is not a problem. At its core, fear is a messenger—an ancient part of us trying to keep us safe. It’s our survival instinct to know that you don’t walk up to a bear. The problem is fear unchecked and running our whole lives. The fear that’s rooted in past pain and judgment, whispering stories of protection: Remember what happened last time you took that risk? Remember how much it hurt when you trusted too easily?

Somewhere along the way, many of us handed fear the keys. And when fear drives, everything changes. It paralyzes us in the face of opportunity. It shrinks our world until we're living in increasingly smaller circles. It narrows our vision until we can only see what might go wrong, never what could go beautifully right, or even appreciate what already is.

✨ Is Fear Driving Your Decisions?
A quick self-assessment to help you see where fear might be influencing your choices.
👉 Take the 10-question self-assessment here »

The Perfect Storm: Fear Meets Decision Overload

So back to decision fatigue. Is there any way around it? Each choice carries weight. Each decision feels loaded with consequences for my child's development, my business's future, my relationship's harmony. More choices trigger more fight-or-flight responses, which gives fear more opportunities to grab the wheel and steer us toward the familiar, the safe, the small.

The Hidden Cost of Fear-Based Living

When fear drives our decision-making, we make choices that are small and reactive rather than bold and aligned. We build walls instead of bridges, both in business and in our personal relationships. We judge before we listen. We disconnect rather than lean in.

I don’t need to tell you how this is playing out in our communities too—the "us versus them" mentality that's become so pervasive. When fear is driving collectively, we stop seeing each other's humanity. We forget that most people are doing their best with what they have. We assume the worst, assume harm and put up our armor as if we are at war.

But perhaps most heartbreakingly, fear-based living weakens our faith, love, and imagination. It convinces us that scarcity is the only reality, that trust is naive, that dreaming big is dangerous.

What Happens When We Put Fear Down

If you are in a pivot in your life, you are facing big decisions. Maybe that pivot is one you didn’t intend, or maybe it’s just that you are finally not able to shut down the call for change. Either way the one thing that is terrifying is change. And in a cycle of change, all the old stories of the past can become present. Ways we felt we failed, were diminished, where things didn’t go right and we want to wrap those stories around ourselves like a protective cloak as if holding them will prevent pain from coming in. What we don’t realize is that it is exactly those stories that will prevent success.

As an entrepreneur, I personally have had to put down my stories over and over again to write new ones, and get comfortable with changing narratives. We don’t endure or decide on a change and the next day have the new version of our life figured out. It’s a learning journey and will and should evolve. Things shifted for me when I gently moved fear to the backseat and asked different questions: What feels most aligned with who I'm becoming? What would I do if I trusted that the right opportunities will find me?

The energy that freed up was remarkable. Suddenly, I had space for creativity I'd forgotten I possessed. Life began to flow more naturally, and I went a little easier on myself. And most of all, I was able to see and connect with others more clearly.

The Ripple Effect: What We Pass On

Need motivation to work on fear’s affects on you? This isn't just about us. Our children are absorbing our fear states like little emotional sponges. When we operate from chronic anxiety and scarcity, we transmit the message that the world is a dangerous place where trust is foolish and vulnerability is weakness.

But when we choose love and presence—even imperfectly—we model something different. We show them that resilience doesn't mean being fearless; it means feeling afraid and choosing courage anyway. We demonstrate that curiosity is more powerful than control, that possibility is more interesting than protection.

Returning to Basics

So how do we shift from fear-based living to something more aligned, more alive?

It's simpler than we think, though not always easy. We return to basics: presence, values, simplicity, rhythm, trust.

Instead of asking "What's the safest choice?" we learn to ask "What's the most aligned choice?" Instead of "How can I avoid getting hurt?" we ask "How can I honor what matters most?"

We practice putting fear in the passenger seat instead of behind the wheel. We acknowledge its voice—thank you, fear, for wanting to keep me safe—and then we choose from love anyway.

Courage isn't the absence of fear. It's moving with love even when fear is still whispering its worried warnings.

The Invitation

Fear doesn't have to drive your life, your business, your relationships, or your choices. It can be a passenger—acknowledged, even thanked—but not the one determining your destination.

I have had the pleasure with working with many people in their pivots and one of the most important things is to understand the stories limiting us in our change. And the biggest support I provide isn’t giving practical advice, it’s in those basics of presence, values, simplicity, rhythm, trust. Helping people to not feel alone, understanding those value anchors that can make motivations clear and decisions easier, breaking down choice in to simple actions and execution, find in a flow and prioritization in the face of a huge to do list and last, having a companion you trust, that can be a sounding board, guide or co-creator.

Alot of our fear is in our isolation. What would your work look like if it came from faith instead of fear? What would your relationships feel like if you chose trust over protection? What would your parenting look like if you believed in your child's resilience instead of focusing on all the ways the world might hurt them?

The road is still there, waiting. The keys are in your hands. I love getting to navigate this with my clients and my loved ones. How do you navigate fear in your life and business? Who are your trusted advisors that bring you back to presence?

✨ Ready to see where fear might be steering your choices?
Take our free, 10-question self-assessment:
👉 Is Fear Driving Your Decisions? »

Then, if you’re ready to go deeper, explore our From Fear to Flow workbook — 5 simple practices to help you move from overwhelm into alignment.

We would love to connect as we build the Hbird community. If you are creating and navigating change, you don’t need to do it alone.

Visit Hbirdco.com to learn more